Theres brain waves in my mind. I know that its an algorithm thing. I don't like how it makes me feel. It makes me feel so miserable.

The difference between "miserable" writers then versus now is that they had no phones. They weren't lured by the amalgamation that is the algorithm.

"The algorithm beckons me like a lost mother. It calls out to me. It wears the faces of comfort and fools me. I will not be forced by such pleasantries."

To be educated is to win.

Vidoes talking about self help stuff nad how to be cool and suave is full of bulllshit.

We love new notebooks because, well.. they’re new. Its exciting. It’s like we can’t wait to fill it up with magical stories and have the best journal we’ve ever made! Sadly, notebooks are never used to the fullest. I believe that this stems from the psychology of consumers who are getting used to immediate dopamine hits. Capitalism is eating our brains. Why can’t we love old things? Why must we become greedy in the face of God. Yes I know that it’s a cute trinket, and it makes you happy trying to relive the childhood you never experienced but you should stop mass consuming! The Earth is our home, but why are we hurting it? You can try fixing your system all you want, but the thing you really need is discipline.

Personal style is a way for individuals to express themselves outwardly. It tells people “Hey this is who I am!” And I believe that one’s fashion choices can be very telling to who they are.

For the past year, I’ve been consciously collecting pieces of clothing to add to my wardrobe. They are very simple in style, a contrast to the very “loud” statement pieces I collected while influenced by the algorithm during the pandemic.

This selectiveness has greatly helped keep the influenced styles out of my brain and allowed my own personal style to grow. Lately i’ve been not putting effort into the clothes I wear, however. I just thought that, excessive simpleness was my “personal style.”

I was wrong. What I was doing wasn’t “finding my style.” I was actively ignoring it. I had no sense of “me” in my outfits. It’s like I dressed like a mindless npc (not that it’s a bad thing).

This year, I want to rediscover myself. I do not want to push myself into a box either through minimalism nor maximalism. I will fight against the fast-fashion trends. I will not lock myself into a box. I will feel myself. I will choose my own options. I’m alive. I live for myself.

When I first read this while on my way to school, it seemed like a better version of thoughts I had before. It was as if my whole feeling was put into words. The words really spoke to me, and I was pleasantly surprised at how much I could relate to it.

One of the sections mentioned something about “experiencing something in different point of views” or something roughly like that. It really spoke to me as I have expressed a need for wanting to experience my friend through something unimaginable.

I don’t know. I think that I was distancing myself at that time. Like how it says that worship is love at a distance. That made me realize that what I felt for her was not love, but in fact a want to love. It was insecure love. Love that was scared to be felt.

I like my friend. I liked her a lot. But sometimes I wonder if I just loved the person I wanted to see. The person that didn't exist. Perhaps thats why I wanted to view or experience her in every possible way. Like how an god views its creation.

I know that cleaning my room isnt a big deal but it very much is to me. I just wanted to say how proud I am of my cabinet (I organized all my stuff there and now I barely shove things randomly into my drawer!) Also, my favorite artist finshed a commission and I am REELING from the cuteness. They made it cuter than the other examples too hehhee.

I think that I liked Ai. I think that it's a pretty useful tool. It felt wonderful to just ask a question and get immediate answers. I spent so much days just talking to it, asking it questions, and letting it think for me.

But after some time, I began to see the patterns to its talk. It lacked personality, and it's writing style is actually so ass. There was absolutely zero personality in the things it wrote that it surprised me.

I didn't have this problem when I read articles written by real people. They were funny and interesting. My mind was engaged and the style had an unique sense to it. It felt as if I was experiencing the writer's personality and viewpoints on paper. Ai lacked that though.

I think the one thing that I really didn't regret about using Ai is how it made me more appreciative of human art. I used to take nice writing for granted, but now that I'm more educated on it, I realize what an art writing can be.


Author's note: I wrote this while on the couch, so it probably sucks. I know that its repetitive but I coudln't miss the chance to write. I like writing. I feel like slop made me feel like it's a chore. Writing is amazing when you're "in the flow"